Indescribable Feelings

I think i have been working in the country of kangaroos for 3 months already,still, not quite adapting to my life here as a worker. Seniors and colleagues are leaving, will leave me as a lonely junior in this whole company. Actually, life still goes on, as dull as usual with their existences. So, i would say that life is just normal with or without those colleagues. There used to be laughter among us all, but things get fishy now thus, silence comes by. True, i will not get things as easy as ABC like before by just asking my seniors since then i will have to work through everything on my own basis, doing my own researches. Minutes back, i just got 'brain washed' from my senior, saying that i have to be more independent, stop asking all sort of questions but try goggling myself. True... in a sense but still, i would prefer to ask so since you are quite free for now and why not maximizing the opportunity to ask you so? Also, i will then do so when the time is right. Fine fine... one day for sure, i will have to prove something for sure, as a reward for things that i sacrifice for now! When my anger arises, normally it will burn till the end until ashes are formed.

I have been wondering is it the feng shui problem? Since then, i am so moody and i lost my concentration as well. In addition to that, i am not sure how long can i stand till mid of next year. Man.. a long journey to go! Let me put on my thinking cap and start using my brain to think what's the best for me. I would say MONEY! But, this option has to be eliminated for my current situation and i will get back to it in real soon, i promise. For the meantime, i am still searching what is missing inside me....... *hopefully i will find it and brighten up my following days*

Clear in my mind but my actions cannot pull it away

8.30pm
Here am i, with myself, only. I feel awful with the very first wrong step. People are saying i am lucky enough to secure such an opportunity but i see it now as a dead end! I am stucked in the middle of no where. I can't move forward and at the same time, i can't step back as well.

My heart is aching seeing myself pouring those money into the deep sea, without giving me any hopes and returns. Loneliness is part of me now, i don't have any friends but just books and books and more books. I hate my current life and at this instance, i would rather trade my credits to those in Japan. I simply willing will at this stage.

It is just a matter of time for my weaken heart to recover to its previous condition, and i guess, it will recover more when i feel the warmth of others and find myself a cup of coffee that feed-me in well.

My sadness is with me now, walking towards the darkness that i wouldn't want to go in but leave me with no choice to do so.


8.45pm
Fine fine, i am alright now! After pouring, i feel much better, back to the usual me! Man.. i seriously cannot talk about sensitive issue to my mum, really makes my eyedrops rolling down my cheeks and most of the time, Probabilty is as high as 95%+!

Hola bloggie..

Blue blue ocean, i miss you.

Well i am back again after missing for some months. This time, i would like to say something about my new chapter of life. I am no longer a uni student, no longer to attend lectures & tutes, no longer enjoy breaks that uni students have. I am undergoing a training, studying at the same time and trying to adapt myself in this new environment. Life is not as fun as previous time, but i still have to carrying on with it as i have just started man!!

Currently, i am doing 2 subjects for CPA - Advanced Tax & Financial Reporting. I would say studying by myself is so torturing, by reading page by page without having any clues how the exam questions will be like. In addition to that, since i am behind the study schedule for 3 weeks, i find it quite tough to squeeze everything into my little brain, however, i am trying my best to do so now. I can't complain anymore because it is time to grow up instantly. My mood is so darn down now, after sitting and studying for a long period but the pages just cannot get any lesser! Arrrggg.. i hate this. How i wish 1.5 years is passed by now. Still, i cannot get away from studying as there are more for me to enhance my skills and knowledge. *I wouldn't dare to imagine it*

Moreover, it is time to think about money figures/S-eleven now. How to earn them, how to fully utilise them, how to use them for better purpose in life-future. No wonder some people prefer to just study rather than work. But, i would say by doing one task, life is quite okay, however it is a totally different story if one is multi-tasking. I wouldn't say that i belong to that group *solute*, i am just in duo-tasking only. Still consider okay, aite? But but,.. not okay when i am just new, hence, i am hoping things are going smoothly and better from time to time.

Man..... i wanna finish at least 35 pages today. So, i better leave you, my bloggie now. See you again in real soon. Thank you for listening! :D

BLESSINGS

*~Getting nearer and closer to the nature, feel YOU in my heart~*

A Small Small Touch - Up Gathering

Yesterday we had an ultra small gathering at Gilbert's place. It was as small as 4 - which included Gilbert, Madeline, Shermay and mua. Just a catch up with one and another since we hardly mix together these days as we have our very own paths chosen.

The food was cooked by mua, of course, all of er'm were vegetarian food, hehe. Of course i had some help from my dearest friends as well. *Couldn't have done well without their help* :D

'Stories telling' for some time, chin wag-ing here and there and the time just passed by us, just like that *clip*.

~Appreciate every moment we have together~


Veggie eggs, tom yam fish, XO broccolies and baked (mashed) potatoes (not shown here, was in the oven for baking, lol)


Fruit cake from Shermay *thanks*