Sort of Unlucky

Oh well, was quite unlucky yesterday. In the morning, i went to Foh Foh to have my breakfast. I saw a black shadow walked pass me. When i turned, no one was there. I knew that things weren't going right for yesterday.

The very first incident that happen was my car was scratched in the round about near the summit there.

Secondly, i fell down and injured my knees when i was on my way to the building 2.* Ouch! My knees still hurt now ... Sob T_T Medicine please?*

Thirdly, i found my tupperware that never in my life will break was broken. Besides that, i found my doggie's necklace (which was attached to it earlier) came out.

Yesterday i was confused all the way, never happen to me.

Goodness!

Haha. The only good thing i had was my lucky star - Jackieballon found the treasure for me. "Eureka!" Hehe, was a bit happy about it since it's been a long time i didn't manage to get the treasure.

Oh well, at the similiar timing, last year, i saw the black shadow and i didn't do well for my exams. Hopefully, this time, i never ever want to see it, EVER AGAIN!

God bless~

After 1pm, Wednesday

Thinking and thinking, there are so much to do. Am i slow or am i under stress? I think i am under both of the options. I have to start building up my momentum, just for the sake of a better future. Wanting to get into good university in Australia, i can't afford to think about other little mini things. Like? I don't know, just those little tiny bits things, don't come into my account. Please? Haha...

All in my mind now, is to work harder than semester 1, score better grades than semester 1, get myself a better place to study compared to semester 1 and so on. I hope everything will be better than semester 1.

I don't really like semester 1 because: i was lazy, i took things easily, i was too careless in all my assignments, i didn't study well, i didn't make my own notes, i was too playful, i cared too much in those little tiny stuffs, i didn't pay much attention in classes and so on. Therefore, i am regretting now. Why can't i score better? I can do better in a way.

Now, i have to work harder than anyone else just to score well. I want myself back, back to the Dorothy that can study smart and play hard in the foundation year. Haha

I believe that i can do it as i am changing myself now: play less, shop less, write more, study more, pay more attention, ...

Oh well, have to finish my cases today, do some marketing. Tomorrow have to start a bit on some assignments. Yay! That is the happy mood that i want and i am going to have it soon. Hehe ^^

My God!

Too many things to deal in just 7 days! I have to revise all the subjects, ask all the questions that i don't know regarding the subjects, do all the tutorial questions and so on. Foyooo... time is never enough now. Haha

Oh well, i still wish that time will fly to 13th August, because i really hope that there will be good news for me. I really do hope so. 13th August is a meaningful day to me as i can start to apply a few universities: University of Queensland, New South Wales University, RMIT and others more without paying a single penny. Yeah!

I have made up my mind earlier, i have to work hard for this semester, no doubt. I want to do good, be great and get the things i wanted most before i prosed to another 'level' i set for myself. Hehe

All the best to me, myself! ^^ *Have to climb higher and faster though as there are still a long way to go in order to reach the peak*

Accounting, Money & Capital Markets, Business Law, Marketing, I LOVE YOU ALL

I will love you all like i love myself. No matter how boring, how hard, how tough you are to me, i will still love you all for this semester *at least*. Because i know the feelings of not being loved.

I am the 2nd child in my family. My dad loves my brother more than us, my mum loves my youngest sister more than us, my American aunt loves my another sister more than us, my another aunt loves my elder sister more than us. Therefore, i know the feelings of not being love to the fullest.

All i can do is just to love myself more than anyone loves me. This is all i can do to make myself a bit happy, somehow. Buying things i like but considering the price from time to time *in the end, most of the time, i don't get to buy them, ~sob sob~*

I came to this world by myself, in the end, i have to leave and go back to where i belong to by myself as well.

However, i will love you all. I will give my love to all of you, like how i love my teddies and owlkies. LOVE YOU ALL!

Muaxxx~

Saturday, Sunday, Monday

Yesterday was a Saturday, today is a Sunday and tomorrow is going to be a Monday. When it reaches tomorrow, yesterday was a Sunday, today is a Monday and tomorrow is going to be a Tuesday. It goes on and on, not going to stop, will never stop.

When time passes, your life time is shorten, somehow. When the time has passed, you can never ever return to where you want to go back in the past anymore. We are not allowed to, no reasons. It is just about nature.

Maybe, we are able to learn from the pass which is called the history. Humans will never learn when things haven't happen yet. Although some of them will learn their lessons from the pass, there are still some that are still living in their own world, having their own ways in managing things.

However, though we cannot head back to the pass, we can still think about the incidents that happened in the pass which is what we called - MEMORIES.

Hmm...A Thursday

Time does fly really really really FAST! Now is already mid of July. I remember i gave her a present - chocolate, not long ago and now there goes another gift for her.

Nothing much i did till 5.50pm. Went to take my second hand books from a senior which cost me RM300 overall (consider cheap though). Did my tutorial for Marketing and Money & Capital Markets. Later, i went to photocopy some documents and bought myself some food (hehe).

Also, i read through a blog of a friend and just realised it has been months (beginning of 2008) the friend didn't write about me anymore(sob sob).

I also just found out that time passed for months already for some incidents happened in the months back when i was studying in Taylor's. I really was happy when i was in Taylor's. A gang with my friends, go through any assignments together by helping one and another; having lunch together as they are considerate people (love you all!) and having fun together by ponteng some classes (xD); got wishes and presents from my friends (especially from my secret admire, earlier on) and so on. Was really really happy in the olden days.

However, life still goes on. I have to create happiness with my own bare hands, unless, happiness is brought to me by someone else. Haha, never know about that.

So, Thursday, there you go, Friday will be here soon. See you next week! ^^

可还会？

你遇见了我，可还会心动？

你可想过我们可还会再一起？

你。。。可还会思念我？

你可还会永久的牢记着我？

你可还会一直疼惜这样的我？

你可还会永远的守护着我？

你可还会给彼此机会？

你可还会。。。 。。。

-桃乐斯上

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Home-made Sushi

Sushi may be small, however, it fills our stomach. It is tasty and nice to be chewed and eaten. It is good for the health as well as its rice is fixed with vineger. The ingrediants used have to be 1st fresh, 2nd fresh and 3rd still fresh! Else, it wouldn't be nice to be eaten and enjoyed.

~*`* Thank You *`*~

I would like to thank a person. Much appreciate because of him. I would like to thank him now, because i might not have a chance to thank him later on.

I want to thank him because earlier

~he used to care for me

~he used to take care of me very well

~he used to love me

~he used to let me know what is love (part of love)

~he used to give me lots of presents which i like most of them actually *and i didn't tell him*

~he used to get jealous because of me

~he used to miss me from time to time

~he used to cheer me up

~he used to trust me

~he used to be considerate

~he used to write sms to me every night

~he used to wish me sweet dreams before heading to bed, every night

~he used to phone me and talk to me

~he used to wait for me

~he used to take me as part of his life

~he used to remember things that are related to us

~he used to think of my situations before he acted

~he used to be a great person and a great man i had ever met

~he used to protect me

~he used to make me happy

~he used to be very loyal

~he used to be an obedient person

~he used to be cheerful

~he used to be a trustworthy person

~he used to be pure

~he used to be a happy-go-lucky person

~he used to be my great great, best, good friend and my lovable other part

~he used to forgive me

I want to thank him for giving me some great memories we had before. I really am appreciate what you had done for me. Thank you. And forgive me for what i have done to you.

THANK YOU ... ... ...

Waiting ...

I wait and wait and wait ...
I am waiting for my results.
I am waiting to apply a few universities.
I am waiting to start a new life abroad.
I am waiting to leave the bad memories behind.
I am waiting to become a better person.
I am waiting to be pleased.
I am waiting to meet someone new who are nice and fair.
I am waiting to start everything all over again.
I am waiting to do daring things.
I am waiting to challenge myself.
I am waiting to build my own success.
I am waiting for the perfect time.
I am waiting for the right person to help me out.
I am waiting for the time to pass, better luck will come to me.
I am waiting for some replyments.
I am waiting for some phone calls.
I am waiting for some reasons.
I am waiting for the perfect chances that will bounce to me.
I AM WAITING, will continue to wait and have them exist.

I really am sick of my mood!

These few days,matters just came straight away to me. So many problems at one time. Can you imagine how many shots i have been shot?

*~ 1st, i was being blamed by my mum. Not only blame, but being yelled by her once i put my first step out from the room. Seriously, i did nothing wrong and i got the blames from her. I felt that i am innocent, i am not the one should be blamed as i am not the one who does the mistakes. Way to innocent...

*~ 2nd, i really am stressful for waiting my results. Mood swings.

*~ 3rd, lots of matters came out together for this case. When i am angry and upset, i choose not to talk because when i talk, i will burst out the fire in me. If i really can't hold back the fire in me, i will just burst, which is not not not good (don't learn from me!).

For this case, it is related to my ex. EX is about history and i always know it. I am not jealous as i have no rights to be and also, he is just my ex. My boy friend is already"dead" for almost 3 months. I clearly know that he will not come back to me anymore. How can a dead person stay alive, unless miracles happen. I just want my ex to be sincere to me, like friends' trust. He came out with many matters and all he can say is " you know i am not sure about it...", "you know i am not good in..." and so on. After so many hints given, telling him to be true in himself, act like a man, ... He just doesn't get it. I don't want to be straight forward because i know it cuts, i try to be slow, it never help out.

Just tell me, if normal friends, can he let a "NORMAL" girl friend to view his private profile? Can he keep on talking non stop like in love with the "NORMAL" girl friend? He said he might cook for the "NORMAL" girl friend after he has the car. I don't seem him saying that when i am his gf. After we quarrel, he still can phone his "NORMAL" girl friend and talk about matters and tell her not to tell me about the call. Is this call sincere for acting he doesn't know anything?

He said i am his good friend, but, i don't see any different in between his good friends and normal friends. He said he "seriously want me back" and this is what i get from him. He asked, why don't i trust him? Now, i can answer, he makes me not to trust him. I want to and always trust him full if i could, but, every time, he just let me down. Even the last trust for yesterday just vanished into the thin air after knowing the call that he didn't sincerely say out. If he is in love with the girl, just go for her and tell me like a man Of course, i can say nothing as i am a good friend of him only. I think i deserve to know a bit more than NORMAL friends.

Because of this incident, things i don't want to recall came back to me in the midnight. Thinking all the bad memories i had. I can remember clearly, before i could let go, he has turn to another girl, giving sweet talking. I told him i will 100% let go of him in the end of December, and he does all he likes, without being considerate. Nevermind for me now, instead of waiting till December, i will let go out him now, since he wants it so much. All the matters he said, all turn to lies, lies, lies and LIES!

That is why i wrote this: I try to slow down as possible, but, you speed. This is what i can see i can never slow down, EVER AGAIN!

I know i am done too much for my anger yesterday, and i did say sorry. However, i pulled back because of another incident popped out, again. I really am tired...

I want my old life back! All the other matters, i don't want to care anymore. I am just his normal friend from now on. What he likes and dislikes, i can care no more and i don't want to tire myself to know the matters as well. I don't gain any benefits in the end of the day. Still, I don't mind to help him though i have so many complains about him. When he needs help, i will still help if i can manage. Though some of my friends said i am foolish, but, i will just help because i don't want the others to suffer like i am.

I can never say out words directly, therefore, i prefer to give hints. All the words i meant, will no longer to be useful even the things have changed, when i have said out the words. Because i somehow feel that it is not sincere. However, it is better than one does nothing.

I just want to go back to my life like the old days, sweet memories, good friends, and my happy life.

To that particular person i am saying, i am sorry to write these out. You can hate me, i don't mind. This is all i can do to destress as there is no one else i can trust anymore. All of them have betrayed me for once. When there is once, there will be twice. I rather keep everything to myself.

~*Bless Me*~

Results are coming out,soon. I really am panic because i know i didn't do quite well for this exam. I regret... Regret for wasting my time for unimportant things, things cannot be foreseen. How foolish i am. Oh well, what is done is done. I will not want and don't want to repeat the same mistakes. Learn from my mistakes then.

I really do hope my results ain't too bad as i have made out my mind to transfer to another university and i need my results to transfer the credits and get into the same university level like Monash university.

I really want to start a good new life in the new university as i don't really like my current university. Maybe it's because of its facilities? Bad memories i had there? Of course, not about my fellow friends there. I have made good new friends. ^^

Please, God bless me. I just want my results to be able to get into the university i want, i will let go something that you might want from me. I promise i will work harder for the next semester. I promise and i will keep my promise. BLESS ME ........ Thanks T-T

Learn to be an alert person in SPEAKING

My favourite phrase: ONE MAN'S MEAT IS ANOTHER MAN'S POISON

When it comes to speaking and talking, there are techniques in behind. Believe in that!

*Sometimes, you need to speak and talk about matters,else, people will treat you like you never exist, in another word, invisible. Based on the external judgements, your images will be influenced, no doubt.

*However, at times, you need to pretend that you don't know anything in order to keep yourself secure and safe. If you don't do so, you will be blamed and dragged or involved in the problems. Better pretend that you are an innocent person though you are not.

*Remember to speak like a wise person as well, don't talk bullshits when the situations don't allow you to do so, you will be shot to 'death'. Continue 'acting' based on the situations.

*Also, you need not talk for some reasons though you really feel like letting out your words , but, try to hold them back, back to yourself, don't ever burst like a balloon. Else, people will think that you are trying to 'step' on them, thinking you are an inquisitive person. Bad impression,right?!

*Do the wise speaking; speak to the right person about the right matters. Don't ever talk about the wrong topic to the wrong person, if another person finds out, the consequences ain't going to be good.

SPEAKING is important and dangerous at times. Therefore, be careful when you speak. Think twice before you act.

Don't ever cry over spilt milk. Spilt milk isn't the end of the day yet, learn from the mistakes then. If you didn't learn them, too bad, you have to bear with your sorrows and regrets till the very end of day.

What a year!

I somehow feel that things ain't going smooth for this year.Oh well,there are always pros and cons;good and bad for sure. I really do like year 2007 as there were many good memories that i will always remember them, store them and recall them when i am dull.

I really do hope things are going to turn better or good,no doubt.No more things that are less important are in me anymore.Think about the future,think about myself, think about the student's life, that is more than enough for me for now.

No matter what it is, i will try the best to reach my goals.And i will make it happen. No more love for the other part from now on, love hurts.I don't think this is the right time to accept a new one. Let it hold for some time, awhile later, then i will try. Will try to accept it when time and the right person come.